Why does silence feel so loud after birth?

After the birth, I imagined things would slow down. That I’d get a moment to breathe, to find myself again. But instead, I found myself surrounded by a strange kind of silence — the kind that fills every corner of the house, yet makes everything inside me feel louder.

The visitors left. The messages stopped buzzing. The crying paused, if only for a few moments. And suddenly, the silence came rushing in. Not the peaceful kind. The kind that carries echoes of everything I’ve just been through.

In that quiet, I started to hear the things I couldn’t while everything was moving so fast: the questions I didn’t ask, the fears I tried to silence, the tears I held in because I had to “be strong.” The joy, too — but buried under layers of fatigue and overwhelm.

I sat with it. Sometimes I cried. Sometimes I just stared at the wall, trying to feel something clear. And sometimes, I judged myself for not “bouncing back” faster — whatever that means.

But slowly, I realized the silence isn’t empty. It’s a space. A space where I get to feel without rushing to fix, to notice without needing to explain. It’s where I meet myself again — not the version I was before the baby, but the one I’m becoming now.

If you’re here too — in the quiet, in the in-between — I want you to know you’re not the only one. I’m walking it too. And it’s okay if it takes time. You’re allowed to feel lost, tender, raw. You’re allowed to just be, even if no one else sees it.

💜 I'm with you in this. One breath, one pause, one moment at a time.